


Bird Lief XD

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [69]
Category: nonfandom
Genre: Birds, Crack, Gen, Motorbike Gang, Same universe as one of the other crackfics, Violence, coarse language, drug/alcohol use, use of guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-30 02:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13940655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Bird Lief XD is the fiercest motorcycle gang to grace the skies. Join them on one of their missions for a client in which they must retrieve a mysterious package from a party plane full of animals chilling with one human...





	Bird Lief XD

**Author's Note:**

> I crossed over this plot idea with the one from MenaPARTAY (mena being short for menagerie), another of my crackfics. This fic was actually fun to write~
> 
> A little crazy, but it is a crackfic.

Bird Lief XD was the hottest motorcycle gang in the clouds.

Seven birds. Leather jackets with full wing support. And the best bikes that the sky had to offer.

They were feared by some, loved by others and lusted after by all. But they didn't have time for relationships.

Cruising down one of those clouds left behind by aeroplanes, Bird Lief XD approached their latest target. A special plane containing a convoy of special drugs which they needed to return to their client. 

The leader of the gang, Robin Raeder (a peregrine falcon with a robin fetish), took the initiative and guided the gang's bikes into clear pursuit of the aircraft. Inside the pounding boom of heavy trap music and the excited screams of the menapartay going on inside could be heard. Looks like the lucky human chosen to participate was having fun, not that the gang cared.

"Yo dawg. Dis safe? Ma shawty's waitin' for me and I don't wanna die widdout kissin' her one last time." Boi, a tough-looking pigeon with a fake accent said. His 'shawty' 's identity was known to none but himself and Robin Raeder, for she was a human and birds could not fall in love with humans. Robin Raeder cared a lot about his gang, however, and didn't judge any of his members in their life choices. He loved them too much for that.

"It's safe until we get killed." He responded flatly. That was true enough. Boi nodded, ruffling his feathers a little, and they approached the plane.

Getting inside was the easy part. Fly, the only female bird in the gang and also the only bird capable of wielding a bazooka (she was a pelican. Her mouth was pretty big) blasted it open with her mouth-operated bazooka, and they drove their cycles straight into the gaping hole in the plane.

The inside was crazy. Drugged up sluts of all species, age and gender roamed the cabins of the planes, violently grinding against one other. The human was in the middle engaging in some very taboo acts with a rhinoceros and an antelope. 

Bird Lief XD moved carefully through the chaos, trying hard not to get killed or swept up into the action. Robin Raeder did _not_ want his squad to die in this stupid situation. 

Finally, they found the convoy. A colony of ants were guarding it, but they were no match for the gang's arsenal of weapons. Immediately they were upon the colony, motorcycles flaring to life as Fly and Boi fired rounds at them. Dildo, a blue tit with attitude, furiously stabbed seven ants with his switchblade as Pie the wagtail took up the rear with a few hot pokers and some matches. Skylaer, the dark robin of the group, used their signature charms to seduce several of the robins. As they were often mistaken for a hot girl due to their feminine looks, it was fairly easy to attract str8 ants to the partay. After getting the bugs hooked they were the one to smash their hearts (literally. With a barbed club held between their beak.). The seventh member of the gang, Rubeno, a pyromaniac cardinal with a flamethrower, charged into the fray with ease, lighting smokes as he torched the enemy creatures.

As his gang fought courageously behind him, Robin Raeder raced to the convoy, easily dispatching it. But then another force arose from behind the package.

The ants' queen.

Eyes red and bulging, she launched for his jugular, causing him to leap back. Package balanced between his wings, Robin Raeder prepared for battle. He took a large bird-sized AK-47 out of his motorcycle's glovebox with a smug smirk, firing it straight through her. However, she was the fucking Queen and she would _not_ go down that easily.

The Queen dodged the bullet, firing her own straight at Robin Raeder. He ducked and she missed, bullet scratching the paint of his motorcycle.

Oh it was _on_. No one got away with damaging his precious motorcycle. No one.

Robin Raeder charged at the Queen with a renewed vigour, running his motorcycle straight through her. She screeched upon death, her blood mucking up his tyres. Immediately the ants dispersed, freaking out as the gang stopped fighting them and returned to their leader.

The gang hurriedly left the plane before more dangerous security discovered them, package in tow.

As a final touch, Fly released an exceptionally potent blast from her bazooka onto the plane, completely destroying it and killing everyone inside.

They celebrated all the way back to the client, motorcycles glinting in the evening sun.

**Author's Note:**

> The servers are especially slow today, so it took a long time to post this.
> 
> Prompt- Birds riding motorbikes.
> 
> Original Number- 342.


End file.
